


Only One Loser Here

by EryiScrye (SomberSecrets)



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: All Hail Podrick Payne, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, And Didn’t Think Through The After, And is Kind of a Massive Idiot, Brienne Thinks There’s Angst, Brienne is Ridiculously Obtuse, Cersei is Deep in the Background Really, F/M, Fluff, Go Get Her, Jaime Just Adores Brienne, No Incest, Nothing Stops Jaime From Getting What He Wants, Romance, She Just Can’t Accept That She’s Going To Get Everything She’s Ever Wanted, So He Did, So You Can Angst With Brienne, Tyrion is Losing His Shit in Laughter, You Want Her, but there is no angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-10 11:50:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20134990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomberSecrets/pseuds/EryiScrye
Summary: By day, Brienne Tarth is Blue, Evenfall’s top agent. Her main rival in Westeros is Leo, the annoying agent from Casterly Rock, who won’t stop tapping her lines and jumping in on the same assignments as her. Years of being at each other’s throats have made them into a great team. Though, she’ll only admit this when she’s dead.By night, Brienne goes home to her new husband: one ridiculously good looking, exasperating, and adoring Jaime Lannister. She’ll never quite figure out how it is that he fell for her so hard and so fast.Despite the, sometimes welcome, nuisances of both her rival and her husband, Brienne has got her double lives under control. Right?Wrong.





	Only One Loser Here

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to my fabulous beta for this story oneblankwhitepage! All mistakes are my own.

**Present-Brienne**

Brienne took a deep, steadying breath as she gauged the wind direction and speed. The tug and snap of the flags mounted on the top of the buildings gave her an indication of how much interference the cityscape around her was providing.

She looked down to her wrist and checked her watch. It was about ten minutes to noon. The lunch rush would be starting soon and the now fairly quiet streets would soon be teeming with people rushing for their midday meal. She had a bracket of about sixteen minutes to make the shots and then disappear into the crowd.

Brienne readjusted the rifle on her shoulder as she took another deep breath in and out. Closing one eye, she looked through her crosshairs with the other. She needed to make two perfect shots: one for Roose Bolton, one for Ramsay Bolton. If she could only make one, Ramsay was the one to take down. She couldn’t let this assignment become personal.

“Are they in the office Blue?” Podrick’s voice asked over her com.

“As you said they would be,” Brienne murmured softly, “Can’t believe you found a pattern to their schedule.”

“I am the master,” Podrick laughed.

The com suddenly crackled and Brienne ground her teeth together. Of course he would be here. “Sadly you’re not the only master Axel. The almighty Imp has also found the pattern,” the most annoying voice in the entire world hummed into her ear.

“Get off my frequency Leo,” Brienne growled, “You’re being distracting… again!”

The voice laughed, distorted, charming, and warm. “Blue, if just my altered voice distracts you, I can’t even imagine—“

“Go away,” Brienne snapped, “Axel, can you kick him?” Com voices always sounded worse. Podrick sounded like he smoked a pack a day with the voice changer. She didn’t even want to contemplate the kind of dulcet honey Leo’s voice would be without the static and subterfuge in the way. Sometimes she imagined she knew exactly what the voice sounded like, but there was no way that all of the pieces would fall so perfectly into place for her like that. She couldn’t be that lucky. And if it wasn’t luck, she would murder him. Brazen, daylight murder.

“I’m trying,” Podrick said, “But…”

“But I’m better,” the Imp sang, much too happy to also be invading the feed, “Leo’s here to stay.”

“And I would have thought you would have wanted my help, Blue,” Leo said all false innocence, “One perfect shot each, you know.”

Brienne’s nose wrinkled. The moment her com had crackled, she had thought just that. “I hate you.”

“I love you.” Brienne’s heart thumped in her chest.

“Don’t let your wife hear you say that,” Brienne retorted as she tried not to let her heartstrings pull.

“I’m sure my wife wouldn’t mind,” Leo chuckled warmly, fondly. It was so obvious he was smitten with her. “She’s not really the possessive sort, but either way she wouldn’t mind me saying that to _you_.”

“How you ever got anyone to marry you is beyond me,” Brienne muttered as she tried not to sound like she was lying through her teeth. When he had given her the news of his marriage three months ago, it had nearly broken her. Only one thing, one person, had carried her through.

The Imp laughed uproariously over the com. Brienne chewed on her lower lip and frowned. She hoped that his reaction wasn’t to her blatant lie. It didn’t matter anyways. There was no way that she and Leo could have ever worked out, secret identities and their jobs and all of that. It was too dangerous. Plus, she was married now too. And she did love her husband. More than Leo even, which was something she hadn’t thought possible until a couple months ago. Still, her heart was torn somewhat asunder.

“I have better sights on Ramsay,” Brienne said, her voice going back to business. If there was one thing she had trained herself to do and to do well, it was to put her heart on hold when it came to Leo. She had been doing it for a half a decade before she had met her now husband, after all.

“Good,” Leo replied his voice betraying a sense of satisfaction, “I have better sights on Roose.” Brienne tried not to be too bitter that Leo would get to serve her vengeance for her.

“Are your watches synchronized?” Podrick asked.

“11:57:47…48…49,” they both counted in unison.

“Take the shot at 12:01,” the Imp said and Brienne heard the clacking of keyboard keys, “The building installed shatterproof glass two years ago and after noon has struck, they will let their guard down.”

“Copy,” Brienne and Leo’s voices synchronized.

And then the coms went quiet.

However, if Brienne focused she could hear the sound of Leo as he slowed and extended his breaths. She felt herself fall into sync with him.

Ignoring Roose Bolton, Brienne checked the wind speed and direction one last time. Just before her watch hit 12:01pm, she readjusted to the current state of the environment and then she pulled the trigger. She watched as in synchrony, two bodies fell to the floor inside the office.

The wall of silence was broken as Podrick began to detail to her the location and blackouts times of security cameras in the building she was stationed on. After her confirmation that she had received the details, he went on to give her the traffic reports and the movement of people around her block. During this time, the Imp cut his and Leo’s connection to her frequency. Brienne was sure that he was giving Leo the same briefing and hadn’t wanted to get wires crossed. Brienne pulled herself up and off of her stomach and disassembled her rifle, placing all of the pieces in the open black bag that had been lying by her side. With a quick whip of her fingers, the zip closed and she locked the bag down carefully to make sure that no passerby would be able to open and see the precarious contents. Keeping low, Brienne crept back to the entrance to the roof. She made sure she didn’t leave a trace of herself behind, and disappeared down the stairwell all in less than a minute from when she had pulled the trigger.

The com crackled again. “Nice work Blue,” Leo praised upon reconnecting, “As to be expected from my rival.”

Brienne pulled a fake bluetooth out of her pocket and placed it over her ear so that it didn’t seem like she was talking into nothing. “You too,” she returned as she launched herself over a rail. She checked her watch and then checked the level she was on. She pushed open the stairwell door to a floor where the security cameras would be blacked out at the allotted time Podrick had specified. She joined the group of office workers filing out for lunch. Podrick had briefed her well on the type of attire she needed to sport. Hipster, gaming company attire was definitely not the black pencil skirt and white blouse of business casual that she usually adorned for these kinds of jobs.

“We make such a great team,” Leo sighed affectionately, “I don’t see why you’re so opposed to us meeting.”

“Because meeting would be against the whole entire point of our jobs,” Brienne hissed with the chatter of the people around her as she climbed into the next lift, “You’re of Casterly Rock and I’m of Evenfall!”

“You are Evenfall. You and Axel. You can do anything you want to do,” Leo hankered.

“What if I just… don’t want to meet you?” Brienne questioned, her voice dropping even though she didn’t want it to. This was why she never accepted any missions that required a con. She was shit at them. She exited the lift.

“And why wouldn’t you want to do that?” Leo asked, his voice sultry rather than curious.

Brienne bit her bottom lip as she exited her building. She thought about Leo. About the five years that they had known each other. How he had gone from the biggest pain in her backside to a man that she would trust with her life, even if she didn’t know his face. And then she thought about her husband. “Because it would be a bad idea.”

Another loud sigh echoed on the other end of the com as Brienne heard the Imp snort in the background. “You can’t know that it’s a bad idea if you haven’t done it yet.”

“That is the logic of an impulsive idiot,” Brienne snapped.

The Imp cackled then and Leo chuckled, “I suppose. But it’s better than being scared… hesitant, if you don’t grab life by—“

“Shut up,” Brienne snarled as tears threatened to prickle at her eyes. She heard Leo suck in a breath as though he regretted his words. As though he knew that he was close to making her cry, “I’m not willing to gamble away the happiness I have just to meet you. I feel sorry for your wife that you are.”

“Blue…” Leo murmured softly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just think—“

“I’m married too, Leo,” Brienne admitted. She had never told him before. She tried to keep her personal life under wraps. Especially from him. As much as she would want to boil him alive for seeking her out, if she didn’t confirm that they were different, she could pretend that they were one and the same. “I’m married and I love him so much. So you need to stop this. Please.”

A beat of silence.

Brienne chewed her lower lip.

“No.”

And then the connection died.

Brienne jerked as she resisted the urge to throw the fake Bluetooth and her com at the sidewalk. Infuriating. The man was fucking infuriating. And she cared about him so much.

“I’m sorry he’s such a jerk,” Podrick whispered and then tried for a lighter tone, “Guess not everyone can be a serial monogamous like your husband.”

Brienne laughed as she rubbed her face. She stopped in the middle of the street to get her bearings. How had her simple life come to this? She had suddenly gone from someone who was unloved to someone who loved two and was… she was mostly certain loved in return by those same two. Why was it all so complicated? It shouldn’t have been. She was married to one and not the other. The other was married to someone else! But she was married to the one she had known for barely more than a year, while she had known the other one most of her adult life. A mess. It was all a disastrous mess.

“Brienne!”

Brienne’s head snapped up as her eyes immediately began scanning the crowd. Podrick chuckled in her ear, “That’s him, isn’t it? It’s like summoning him from the deep. We’ll regroup tomorrow Blue?”

“Thanks Axel,” Brienne murmured as she found him waving casually at her through the crowd. A smile burst on her face despite herself as she tentatively waved back.

The com went dead and Brienne took the whole thing and shoved it into her pocket.

People parted in his path as he sauntered towards her. Brienne tilted her head fondly as she took him in, “Office casual?” she asked curiously as he approached in a white dress shirt, black slacks, and a blue tie that matched the colour of her eyes. A black bag was slung over one shoulder.

Jaime Lannister grinned at her as he took his hands from his pockets and cupped her face, “Tyrion insisted it would be fun to go casual for today.”

Brienne snorted as she rubbed her cheek into his touch and placed her hands on his hips, “Tyrion’s whims remain a mystery.”

“Meanwhile, it’s not a mystery that you look stunning in combat boots, leggings, and a Kingsguard hoodie, wife,” Jaime growled low as he stepped closer into her touch.

Brienne giggled as she wrapped her arms around him and dipped her thumbs below the waist of his slacks by the small of his back. “It comes with being young and hip, husband.”

Jaime raised an eyebrow, “Calling me old now?”

Brienne leaned in closer so that their foreheads touched, “What if I am?” she challenged.

Jaime smirked, “I’ll show you old, wife.” He slipped one of his hands to the back of her neck and pulled her down for a heated kiss. He nipped her bottom lip and she parted them with a small gasp. His tongue swept just past her teeth where hers immediately met his and they fought for dominance. His hand in her hair tugged at the strands as her palms flattened on his back and their bodies melded together.

Brienne managed to pull away after a moment, her pupils blown with desire, “What about lunch?”

Jaime leaned in to capture her lips again, “We’ll grab lunch after.” He fumbled with his phone to order a town car to take them back to their apartment… or to the closest hotel.

* * *

**Approximately One Year Ago-Jaime**

“Where the fuck is she?” Jaime growled as he pressed his back to the shipping container and reloaded his pistol. He had already taken down several gang members, but the dock was swarming with the Bloody Mummers and he didn’t know where they were going to come from next. Jaime could hear them all around him. Searching for him. Searching for Blue. Gods he hoped that they were still searching for her.

“Calm the hell down,” Tyrion snapped, “I’m trying to track her now. Unlike how I made it sound, it wasn’t actually that easy breaking into their feed. Axel is actually a pretty brilliant handler.”

Jaime snarled low in his throat as he ran a hand through his hair and checked around the corner, “This is not how I wanted this to happen. This was supposed to be easy. I was just supposed to drop in and _see_ her. She never even needed to know I was here.”

“I get that. Now shut up so that when you do, it won’t just be a body.”

“How did she get herself into this kind of situation anyways? She’s always so fucking careful!” Jaime raged as he heard and felt a bullet ricochet off of the container he was against. Jaime peeked around the corner again and fired one shot. His target fell and Jaime sprinted to a new location where he once again pressed his body up against another shipping container.

“What do you not understand about shutting up?” Tyrion hollered.

The com suddenly crackled, “Please, please, please tell me that’s Leo and the Imp,” Axel’s voice echoed weakly through the lines.

Jaime opened his mouth, but Tyrion interrupted him, “Before you say the obvious Leo, I’m strengthening the connection now.”

“Thank the Seven!” Axel cried in relief as a crash seemed to echo from his end, “Blue’s in trouble.”

“Shit!” Jaime swore as he tried not to panic. “Tell me where she is. Then tell me what happened.”

“She’s in shipping container B34R on shipping vessel G04T at Harrenhal Harbour,” Axel relayed, “The vessel is meant to deploy soon and once it’s out of the harbor it’s going to overturn with all of its contents.”

Jaime swallowed thickly as he once again checked his corners, “Taking her to the bottom of the sea.” Jaime pushed himself away from the shipping container he was using for cover. A cold dread filled him as he scanned the harbor for vessel G04T. It was docked five quays down the port. He cursed.

Axel whimpered, “I don’t know if she’s conscious… she might be hurt. There was a lot of screaming and fighting over the com before I heard a slam and then it’s been a communication blackout. It’s been three minutes since I’ve heard from her. She was disarmed. There were… there were a lot of men…”

Jaime sprinted through the containers, not caring that at any moment he could be spotted and put under fire. “How long until deployment Imp?”

Tyrion grimaced, “Five minutes.”

Jaime calculated how long it would take him to get to G04T. He needed at least seven minutes. “Can you delay it?”

“I can try.”

“I’ll help,” Axel exclaimed, “Tell me what you need.”

“Try!” Jaime roared. He ignored the back and forth between the two handlers over his com. His task was to get to her in time. When he was only two vessels away, he focused on the shipping containers that were on the boat. There were so many of them and the letters were so small. B34R could be any of them. If by some miracle he could get there on time, what was the chance that he would be able to find her before the boat overturned and sent them both down? At least he wouldn’t have steel and darkness dragging him to the sea floor… but Blue… Blue would...

“Thank you Axel,” Tyrion shouted in triumph, “G04T’s systems are shut down, you’ll have fifteen minutes minimum until they reboot. They’ll know we were there though, so they may try to overturn in the harbor.”

Jaime gritted his teeth, “Fifteen minutes maximum. Got it.”

Just as Jaime got to the vessel beside G04T, the doors to one of the shipping containers, stacked second from the bottom, slammed open and several bodies fell out. The com roared with sound and static.

“Axel!” Blue’s voice screamed into the com. Jaime’s eyes widened as he saw a large, lithe body jump out of the container followed by two conscious pursuers, “Give me the situation, stat!”

“G04T’s systems are down. Fourteen minutes until they are back up. Leo is in the vicinity—“

“Tell him to get sights overhead and take down anyone I’m not trying to strangle right now,” Blue commanded over the com. Jaime watched from the distance as he saw who must’ve been Blue begin to engage the two conscious gang members in hand to hand combat, “It was gross and I’ll be brushing my teeth for the next millennia, but I’ve already bitten one guy’s ear off. I’ll bite off some more parts if I have to, but I don’t have any sense of the area and will need some cover—“

“Got it!” Jaime replied after he quickly scaled the vessel beside G04T, W31RW00D. While he tried to find a good position, he opened his bag, put his pistol away, and began to assemble his rifle. Eventually Jaime found a position where he could see most of the quay G04T was docked against.

As he got into position, he saw Blue’s posture soften for a second from the sound of his voice. She drop kicked one of the guys that tried to get at her from the front, “By the love of the Seven, I’ve never been happier to have you here Leo.”

“Thanks for still being alive Blue,” Jaime said as he turned his focus away from G04T's deck and systematically took out the back up Bloody Mummers who were drawn to G04T by the ruckus on board.

“How the hell did this happen Axel?” Tyrion asked.

They could all hear Axel’s teeth gnash together, “Roose Bolton sold her out. He knew he could terminate Evenfall by simply terminating her.”

“Roose Bolton eh?” Jaime repeated and then positioned another gang member in his cross hairs and pulled the trigger, “I’ll remember him.”

“Turn cloak scum of the earth,” Tyrion muttered, “Back up from Casterly Rock should be arriving at the port in five minutes. They won’t be at the terminal for at least another ten.”

“From Casterly?” Blue questioned in surprise. Jaime's eyes flickered to her and he watched as she gripped the arm of the man who had managed to get a hold on her from behind and flung him over her shoulder and slammed him onto the deck, “Gods, sometimes I forget that it’s more than just you two there. Axel, I need an out.”

“I can give you one,” Axel said slowly.

Tyrion huffed over the com, “Leo?”

Jaime nodded at himself as he watched the woman with flaxen hair and the boxer’s build absolutely crunch the two men, “I’ll make sure you can get out without the others noticing you.”

Blue let out a relieved breath and Jaime watched as she leaned over to catch her breath. “Thank you,” she said.

Jaime nodded, but then realized that although he could see her, she couldn’t see him. She didn't know that he could see her. “No… thank you.”

Blue looked up from where she was standing alone on the deck of G04T and then walked over to the side of the deck, closer to W31RW00D.

She was so close and the danger had lessened significantly to the point of which Jaime couldn’t resist. He turned his scope onto her and saw her magnified in the middle of the cross hairs. From a distance, he had already seen her build, her strong frame, and her long legs. He had gauged the colour of her hair and the tone of her skin. But Jaime saw her clearer then. Down to the crooked nose, crooked teeth, too large lips, the smattering of freckles that canvased her, and the astonishing colour of her eyes. Suddenly, Blue made sense. She wasn’t beautiful by any stretch of the imagination, but she was _Blue_ and she was perfect.

It was also obvious now that she was young, early twenties to his mid thirties young. He had always just assumed that she was in her thirties as well. This wasn’t something that was going to stop him though. Even if he now realized that he must have met her when she was still a teenager. “I’ll reconnect with you in an hour Axel,” Blue said over the com. And then Jaime watched as Blue swan dived off the side of the shipping vessel and into the harbor. Gone under the waves.

“Thank you,” Axel reiterated to the brothers. The com buzzed and the connection dropped.

“Did you see her?” Tyrion asked.

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“She’s fucking magnificent.”

“You want me to find her don’t you?”

“Gods yes.”

* * *

**Approximately One Year Ago – Brienne**

“Can I get the usual?” Brienne asked as she flicked her credit card out between her pointer and middle finger, ready to tap it on the terminal. The barista gave her a small smile and shook her head. “I… can’t?” Brienne questioned as she slowly slipped her card back into her wallet.

“No! No, sorry,” Dany giggled, “I just realized how that could have been misinterpreted. Your next ten drinks have already been paid for Brienne.”

Brienne blinked in shock, “Excuse me?”

Dany tilted her head and awkwardly gestured to a corner of the small café, “The absurdly hot one.”

Brienne turned mechanically from her position and blinked again. Because Dany had not by any means of the imagination been exaggerating. If anything, she had been undercutting the situation. The man in the corner wasn’t just absurdly hot. He was unfathomably hot. He was beyond Brienne’s wildest imaginings hot. What the hell was the Warrior himself doing buying ugly, awkward Brienne Tarth her next ten coffees? “Uh…” Brienne managed.

“I know, right?” Dany tittered. “Your drink will be right up Brienne.”

“Are you sure?” Brienne asked as she looked back at Dany, “Are you sure he got _my_ next ten drinks? And not like… literally any one else’s?”

“Fairly certain,” Dany giggled, “He described your physique to a T and waxed poetry about the sapphire colour of your eyes.”

“I don’t… think… I have ever… looked a man like that… in the eye before.”

Dany waved her hands towards him, “Well go look. Go look for all of us. Don’t squander the opportunity.”

Brienne felt panic rise in her throat, “What do I even do?”

Dany gave her a fond and sympathetic smile. Brienne had been coming to Grey Wyrm coffee shop every day for years and she knew that Brienne hadn’t much experience with men, “Maybe start with thanking him for the coffee.”

“Right…” Brienne said and snuck a look back at the god amongst men. She nearly had a heart attack when her eyes met his emerald green ones and she immediately turned back to Dany as red as a fire truck, “And then?”

“And then snog him. Snog him real good,” Dany suggested with a shrug, “He’s very obviously interested. I’ve never heard someone talk so fondly about eyes before.” She took the drink that Missandei handed her and passed it to Brienne. Missandei gave Brienne two thumbs up too. “Now go!”

“I can’t do this,” Brienne squealed.

“Go!”

“Oh dear gods,” Brienne squeaked and then turned around to crash, coffee and all, right into a chest. “Holy handsome! I mean… I…I…” All of her brain processes stopped functioning as her coffee ran down the front of the incomprehensibly handsome man’s sports jacket.

“She’s sorry,” Dany said compassionately while trying not to laugh, “Towel?”

“Thank you,” the man said as he reached out and took the towel from Dany. He patted down the worst of the dripping coffee and handed the towel back into Dany’s awaiting hands. The entire time, he didn’t move his gaze from Brienne.

“Oh for the love of the Seven,” Brienne muttered as she straight up dropped her now empty paper cup on the ground and buried her face in her hands. Not only was the man a living specimen of Adonis, but his voice was also a low, reverberating, dulcet baritone that made Brienne’s bones want to melt and her toes curl.

That was if she didn’t die of embarrassment first.

“Sorry. That was my fault for surprising you. Did you burn your hands?”

“My hands?” Brienne asked as she peeked through her fingers at his ridiculous, inquiring, concerned emerald gaze, “What about your jacket?”

He waved his hand nonchalantly, “Easily washed. Burnt hands, however, are another matter entirely. Do we need to run them under some cold water?”

Brienne straight up ignored the ‘we’ for the sake of her sanity. “No,” Brienne sighed as she dropped her hands to her sides and stared at the mess she had made on the floor, “Missandei, I’ll mop it up.”

“Nonsense,” Missandei said as she passed Dany another of Brienne’s usual. Dany held it out to Brienne.

“Go sit,” Dany reiterated.

Brienne stared at the cup forlornly, “You didn’t have to…”

“I’ll get it,” the man smiled.

“No!” Brienne nearly shouted and then cringed, “You’ve already bought me ten coffees and I’ve ruined your jacket in return. There is no reason that you should get this one.”

“I fear my jacket was what ruined your coffee actually,” the man grinned as he seemed to be fascinated by her freckled and flushed skin.

“It’s on the house,” Dany huffed, “Would you like another drink um…”

The man turned to her and gave her a small smile as he shrugged off his coffee stained jacket, “Jaime. My name is Jaime.”

“Jaime?”

“I’ll have another cinnamon latte please.”

“Please at least take that drink off my docket of… nine,” Brienne murmured as she flushed and took a sip of her drink so that she could have something to concentrate on other than the alluring man in front of her. By the Seven, not only was he steamy hot, but he was also kind, thoughtful, well spoken, and polite. It was too much for Brienne to process. The only other person that Brienne knew who was all four of those things was also the most infuriating human to ever exist and since she didn’t know what he looked like, she could at least also pretend he looked just as ugly as her.

Jaime shook his head as he produced a black card from his wallet and tapped it to the terminal that Dany held out. Brienne stared at it. “I can afford my own coffee.”

“It’s not about affording,” Brienne muttered almost crossly as she opened her small wallet and showed him that she too had a black card.

He grinned at her and his eyes sparkled with mirth. “If you continue to protest, I’ll go with my original plan and get you your next hundred.”

“Hundred?” Brienne squawked.

“But even I thought that might have been a bit excessive.”

“From a friend, much less a stranger,” Brienne gapped.

Jaime smirked as he reach out with one hand and tucked a loose strand of hair that was hanging in front of Brienne’s face back behind her ear. She tried not to combust even though he hadn’t actually touched her skin to skin. “Well, I plan to be neither.”

“Excuse me?” Brienne asked as her eyes snapped to meet his.

Jaime tilted his head to the corner where his stuff still held his now empty table. “Care to join me with your drink?”

“I uh…”

Dany handed Jaime his cinnamon latte and stared at Brienne meaningfully, “Go.” Dany’s violet eyes had gone from screaming “Snog him!” to “Shag him! By the Seven, woman!”

Brienne quivered a little bit in her shoes. But Jaime’s eyes had suddenly gone big, soft, and earnest so that it would feel like kicking a puppy if she said no. So she steeled herself for what was surely going to be a humiliating five minutes before he picked up his stuff and ran, “Alright.”

“Great.” The smile that appeared on his face somehow made him even more attractive although Brienne hadn’t thought it possible. Brienne was pretty sure she wasn’t going to be able to take much more of this as she followed him back to his table and nearly collapsed into the empty seat across from him from buckling knees.

Brienne would never really understand what had transpired after she had sat down with Jaime at that small coffee shop table. All she knew was that they had hit it off instantly and that by the time she had left, she had a date arranged for that evening. When they had left Grey Wyrm hours later, he had given her a sweet, but chaste kiss on the lips.

And then by the end of their evening date, where she had found out that Jaime was also infuriating but that she also kind of adored it, she had a boyfriend. They had found themselves snogging each other whole-heartedly like horny teenagers on the sidewalk outside the nice Dornish restaurant she had recommended.

And then by the next morning, she had Jaime Lannister naked and spooning her in her bed, peppering kisses into her hairline and languidly thrusting into her from behind for, she was sure, the fifth time in eight hours. Between the sex, chatter, and laughter she hadn’t had even a wink of sleep.

It was all a little bit insane.

She was already in love with another man.

But gods did she fall hard and fast in love with Jaime Lannister too.

* * *

**Present – Jaime**

“I do genuinely wonder how you are going to avoid being offed by your lovely wife when she finds out,” Tyrion mused over a glass of wine.

Jaime glared at him from his reclined position on Tyrion’s office couch. It was basically his second home after the apartment he shared with Brienne. “I’m sure you have some ideas. You’d miss me if I were gone. You’d have to handle another Casterly agent then and the Seven know that won’t go well for either of you.”

“You tell her you’re Leo, she’s going to boil you alive for one: revealing your identity, two: digging up hers. Or you don’t tell her you’re Leo and she either one: keeps being torn apart by two men who are actually the same man with no impulse control or two: finds out herself, finds out that you knew all along, and murders you anyways.”

“Well two reasons for mariticide versus one, I guess you can see why I haven’t told her yet.”

“You’re hurting her Jaime.”

Jaime ruffled his hair in aggravation, “I know! I know alright, but I don’t know what to do to fix it.”

“Maybe you could start with not flirting shamelessly with her as Leo?”

“You were the one who said I have no impulse control.”

“You could have… never sought her out in the first place. Could have just stayed as Leo and Blue.”

“Tyrion?”

“Yes Jaime?”

“I’d rather have my hand chopped off than to have never sought her out.”

“Ah, the sweet last words of an incurable romantic,” Tyrion sighed dramatically, although he was highly amused by this side of Jaime, “What will they write on your tombstone? Loved his wife so much that he was willing to be murdered by her. Would it even be considered murder then?”

Jaime grunted as he looked away from his brother, “Sounds about right. Gods… I would tell her, but then she’d also be mad that she hadn’t found out herself!”

“Ah yes, there is also that. Proud and stubborn. She was always destined to be a Lannister.”

Jaime frowned. “If only she would find out herself and reveal that she’s Blue to me.”

Tyrion regarded him, “You do realize it’s all going to come to a head someday right?”

“Yes,” Jaime hissed as he thumped the back of his head multiple times.

“It’s better to be in control when it does.”

“I understand that.”

“Do you need my help?”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!”

“Ah, the sweet sound of begging.”

\---

“Jaime, you know I adore your wife, but by the Seven that woman can be obtuse. Even the best laid plans!” Tyrion fretted loudly after shutting down the com line between their duo and Blue’s team.

Jaime ground his teeth together as he tried not to take Tyrion’s comment personally. He knew that his brother wasn’t actually insulting his wife, but Brienne had told him how children had once called her slow and stupid. She was anything but slow and stupid. She was smart, witty, and oh so sassy… about most things. It bothered Jaime that she had this glaring blind spot. Bothered him because the only reason she refused to acknowledge the obvious truth was because she simply didn’t think she deserved to have everything she ever wanted. That she felt like she didn’t deserve to by wholly happy because of the cruel words of others or just because she wasn’t conventionally attractive. To him, she deserved the world. This was why, in part, she had to find out for herself that he was Leo. She had to learn for herself that she deserved everything good in the world. “I told you. I didn’t go seek her out without any contingency plans. I thought she would get it when she met you. I thought she would get it when I told her my nickname was the Lion of Lannister, but nothing, nadda. She just gave me her big, lovely smile and…”

“And then you fucked her. Maybe you’ve done what most men strive for and have literally fucked her brains out.”

“Fuck off,” Jaime cursed as he watched the police finish the job that Blue and him had aided them with. He knew that Brienne was also lounging somewhere in the area and wished they were lounging together, “It’s just that I hadn’t quite expected…”

“For her to not pick up a single hint,” Tyrion sighed, “Come to my office once you’re done. We have to listen to these recordings. They’re practically comedy gold.”

“You recorded our conversations?” Jaime snarled.

“You’ll understand why when you’re hearing them as a third party,” Tyrion cackled, “I’ve been recording them on an encrypted drive since one mission after we hatched our scheme. I am only sorry I didn’t get that attempt too. You literally told her you knew her eyes were blue. You even used the adjective sapphire. Only you describe her eyes through the use of gems.”

“I resent that.”

“Woosh,” Tyrion said and Jaime imagined his little brother waving a hand over his hair, “Right over her head. You could have been talking about sapphire mines for all she got.”

“Shut up Tyrion.”

“What a breath of fresh air amongst the much too perceptive Lannister clan.”

Jaime snorted, “You can’t say that about our sweet sister. She’s on the other extreme of the scale. She thinks every compliment is about her.”

Tyrion cackled, “Too right!”

\---

“Do you know where the best place to meet the love of your life is?” Leo’s voice asked.

“Where?” Blue’s voice asked deadpanned.

“At a coffee shop.”

“… I might agree.”

“So Blue, what would be your top meet-cute scenario?”

“Meet-cute? Really?”

“Do not denigrate the meet-cute.”

“I’m not going to answer that Leo.”

“I think the ultimate meet-cute would be if a woman crashed into me and spilled coffee all over me.”

“… You would… like that?”

“I think I would adore her forever if that was the case.”

“Is this how you met your wife Leo?”

“By the Seven!” Axel shouted in realization.

“Don’t give up the game,” The Imp cackled.

“For the love of the Seven,” Axel continued to espouse.

“Shush, you’re drowning them out.”

“It might have been how I met my wife.”

Blue’s next words were quiet as though she were talking to herself, “At least I’m not the only clumsy person in King’s Landing.”

Tyrion cut off the tape. “Woosh,” he said as he waved both of his hands over his head hapzardly.

Jaime chewed his bottom lip. Their target had appeared right after, so he hadn’t been able to make it even more obvious… but really… how much more obvious could he get. He and Tyrion had been going on like this for several missions already and yet Brienne was still having none of it.

“Go home. Go kiss her on the nose like a doting, clueless husband or whatever else you two do. And then shake your head disappointedly at her for me, will you?”

Jaime sighed. “Will do.”

\---

Jaime opened the front door, “Brienne, I’m home!”

“In the shower Jaime!” Brienne called.

Jaime let a smile wash over his face as he dropped his bag by the door and took off his shoes. As he walked through the living room he began to divest his clothes over their furniture. “How was your day at work today?”

Brienne seemed to pause as Jaime pushed the washroom door open dressed only in his boxers. “Enlightening,” she replied as she washed the shampoo out of her hair.

Jaime quirked a grin as he slipped off his boxers onto the floor, “Enlightening how wife?” He asked as he climbed into the shower with her. Brienne hissed a little bit as the small space caused her shoulder to brush the cold tiled wall, but Jaime wrapped her up in his arms and pulled her back towards him. He helped her wash the rest of the shampoo from her hair.

Brienne purred as she took the shampoo bottle again and lathered the liquid up in her hands before she scraped her fingers through his hair and against his scalp. Jaime groaned in pleasure as he dipped his head, resting his forehead on her shoulder as she continued to wash his hair while he massaged her scalp. “I just found out that a… colleague of mine met his wife in much the same way that I met you.”

Jaime chuckled, “Really?”

Brienne hummed, “Really.”

“Is this the colleague you’re in love with?” Jaime asked.

Brienne froze.

He kissed her collarbone tenderly, “You know I don’t mind, wife.”

Brienne frowned as she nuzzled his temple and kissed it, “You really should mind, husband.”

“Trust me when I say it only makes me love you more.”

Brienne let out a quiet snort of laughter as she shifted under the shower water so that the stream would run over his hair and wash out the suds, “I’ll never understand you Jaime Lannister.”

“I’m hoping someday soon you will.” Jaime reached up and turned the showerhead so that it pointed more towards the wall and then shifted them both so that Brienne was up against it. “Gods, I love you,” he breathed as he laved open mouthed kisses on her shoulders and neck.

Brienne hitched one of her legs around his hip and guided him inside her, “I love you too Jaime.”

* * *

**Three months ago – Brienne**

Her spoon clattered onto her plate as Brienne rested her elbows on the dining room table and buried her face in her hands, “I can’t do this anymore Jaime.”

Jaime blinked as he held his own spoon of soup in front of his mouth. Slowly he lowered it back into his dish and worked his jaw, “Can’t do what any more Brienne?”

Brienne retracted her hands to her lap as she looked off to the side. She tried to focus on anything but his face. His beautiful, handsome face, that even when he was being exasperating, clearly showed that he treasured her. Treasured _her_. Ugly, unfaithful, horrible Brienne Tarth. Tears sprung to her eyes, “I think we need to end this.”

She had been wanting to end it for months. But it had just felt so crazy, so new, and exciting to be cherished, spoiled, and loved. She hadn’t wanted to end it because she cherished, spoiled, and loved him too. But she couldn’t continue like this. She couldn’t lie to him anymore.

Suddenly Jaime was in front of her and brushing his thumb against the corner of her eyes, catching the tears before they fell, “What are you saying Brienne?” he asked. And she could see in his face that she was hurting him. She was hurting a man that she loved.

But that was the problem. He was _a_ man she loved. Not _the_ man she loved. She shook her head and tried to back away, but he cupped her cheeks and brought her closer. “Jaime, I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

Jaime seemed to freeze before he choked out, “We all have our secrets. I haven’t told you all of mine either.”

Brienne shook her head again. They had discussed this early on in their relationship. She couldn’t tell him about Evenfall and he had accepted as long as he could keep some things to himself too. She had easily agreed. She trusted him. And foolishly, he had trusted her. “But this one I should have told you. I should have told you the day we met. I should have told you the day after. I should have told you any of the days in the past nine months.”

Jaime swallowed as his thumbs caressed her cheekbones, “You can tell me now.”

Brienne tried to hold back a sob, “You’ll hate me.”

Jaime slowly shook his head and kissed her nose, “Impossible.”

Brienne brought her hands up to cover his, “You will though.”

“Never.”

“I’m in love with someone else Jaime.”

Jaime froze again as she saw him take in two deep breaths. For a moment he wasn’t able to meet her eye. She wondered what he was thinking about. Was he reconsidering the day that they had met? He looked so wrecked. She was hurting him. _She was hurting him_. “Who?” he managed to croak out as he brought his gaze back up to hers.

Brienne chewed her lower lip. How could she possibly explain to this man who was in front of her, whose body she knew every line of, and whose life she held so dear that she loved a man that she had never met. A man she didn’t even know the name of. A man who had saved her life multiple times and whose life she had saved more often too. “He’s a work colleague.”

Something seemed to flash across Jaime’s face, but before she could read him, he hid his emotions behind a mask. Brienne wanted to choke. “Podrick?” he asked.

Brienne shook her head.

Jaime looked confused.

“I…” Brienne thought about how she could tell him the truth without telling him the whole truth. She couldn’t tell him what her job actually was, so she couldn’t tell him in what capacity she knew the other man. Telling Jaime anything about her world would put him in a place of danger. And the last thing she wanted to do was put him in danger. But maybe… “I’ve never met him.”

“You’ve never met him.”

“No… but we… we talk on the phone all the time.”

“On the phone.”

Brienne nodded her head as she swallowed and steeled herself. She hoped that her face wasn’t giving away her half-truths. “We’ve been in contact since I was eighteen.”

“Eighteen.”

Brienne tried not to focus on the fact that Jaime was repeating her words like a broken record. She didn’t want to dig into what that meant, “He’s helped me through so many of my tough times. He’s annoying, but genuine and… and I’ve been in love with him for so long. Since long before I met you. Probably since I was eighteen.”

Jaime seemed to stare into her very soul, “What’s his name Brienne?”

Brienne chewed her lower lip as she thought. She shifted her gaze up to the ceiling and then to the side. For once she threw caution to the wind. This was alias’ were for after all and at least his did sound like a name, “Leo.”

Jaime seemed to expel out a breath that he had been holding and then suddenly Brienne wasn’t in her seat anymore but was in Jaime’s arms as he held her so close and so tight. His face was buried in the crook of her neck as he cradled her head into the crook of his. “You’ve been in love with a man named Leo your whole adult life?” Jaime reiterated, his voice deep and wet.

Brienne nodded her head quickly wondering if this was the last time that he was ever going to hold her like this. She wrapped her arms around his torso and selfishly indulged. If this was going to be the last time, she would at least try to make it count.

“Why aren’t you with him Brienne. If you love him.”

“I told you, we’ve never met.”

“Why can’t you meet?”

“We just can’t. It’s impossible.”

“Brienne,” Jaime said as he pulled back and stepped out of her embrace. Tears flooded her eyes as his warmth was immediately replaced by the cold. But then she paused. Jaime’s face didn’t speak of anger or disappointment at all. Instead all she saw there was abashment, awe, and exaltation. “Then if you can’t be with him. Be with me. Marry me Brienne.”

“What?” Brienne wheezed.

Jaime rushed back into their embrace again and brought her closer to him as he took one of her hands in his. “I don’t have a ring. I can get one made if you want, but either way, marry me.”

“I just told you I’m in love with another man.”

Jaime nodded as he peppered kisses all over her face, “You did.”

“Why the hell would you ask me to marry you then?”

“Because I don’t care that you’re in love with another man. If anything I love you more for it. Gods, now that I know it.”

Was this about the fact that she had chosen him? That despite the fact that she loved another man she had still chosen Jaime for nine months. Or was this about the fact that she had been honest enough to tell him? Either way… “You’re being crazy,” Brienne cried as she couldn’t help but return his butterfly kisses on his cheeks and nose.

Jaime flashed her a small grin, “Crazy for you. Tell me yes Brienne.”

She rested her forehead against his, “I couldn’t possibly.”

“Yes you could. Say yes.”

Brienne’s eyes watered, “Jaime…”

“Marry me Brienne.”

Brienne felt all of her walls collapse as a lone tear ran down her cheek, “Yes.”

Jaime’s mouth was on hers and he kissed her, kissed her deep and heady and with promise. She kissed him without abandon.

They went to the courthouse with Podrick and Tyrion, Jaime’s younger brother, the next day.

* * *

**Present – Jaime**

“How about this…” Tyrion suggested, “Instead of calling her wife, call her Blue.”

“I’ve tried that. She acted all funny for a day and then asked me to stop referring to her by the colour of her eyes,” Jaime sighed as he once again lay on Tyrion’s office couch.

“Well whose fault is it for constantly waxing poetics about her damn eyes,” Tyrion teased.

Jaime held both of his hands up in a guilty gesture.

Suddenly Tyrion’s speakers started to crackle and both men turned to the computer stunned, “Is this Leo and the Imp?” Axel’s voice asked brokenly.

“This is… unprecedented,” Tyrion muttered as his fingers hovered over the keys unsure of how to deal with the breech in the system, “The mission went off without a hitch today.”

“Blue is missing.”

Jaime jumped to his feet and bent over Tyrion’s desk to get a better look at his screen. There was nothing on it, “What?” he roared.

“She was supposed to regroup with me two hours after termination. It’s been three hours and I’ve been trying to connect with her the entire time. I’ve been getting nothing.”

Jaime’s blood ran cold as he looked at Tyrion. Suddenly a host of information was fed into Tyrion’s system and his screen lit up like fireworks. “Go check the apartment, I’ll try to work with Axel to establish contact.”

Jaime nodded as he quickly exited Tyrion’s office. He took the elevator even though the stairs would have kept him moving. The lift was faster. When Jaime reached the parking garage, he rushed towards his car. With little care for anyone else trying to leave the complex, he screeched out of the Lannister Corp. building and onto the streets. Luckily rush hour hadn’t hit yet, so his path home was mostly unencumbered.

Multiple times Jaime considered running the red lights he hit, traffic accidents he would leave in his wake be damned. But he didn’t. He didn’t, but if it cost him Brienne’s life, he would hate himself forever.

When he reached their apartment building, he didn’t even go about parking his car. He just left it on the street as close as he could to the curb even though no one was supposed to park in front of the complex and bolted into the building.

Taking the lift again, Jaime felt as though his heart was about to beat out of his throat as he reached the penthouse floor and immediately reached for his keys. The door slammed open and he called out, “Brienne!”

He got no reply.

Jaime looked around the apartment with panicked eyes and saw that nothing looked like it was unduly out of place, so she hadn’t been taken from their home at least. But he noticed that not everything was as they had left it when they had both departed for work that morning. She had been home, at least for a little while.

Jaime reached into his pocket and slipped his com into his ear. He turned it on. Immediately Tyrion established contact, “Please tell me that you and Axel have managed to find something,” Jaime begged as he tried to discern where Brienne could have possibly gone from what had changed in their apartment.

Axel was the one who replied, “I think I have a signal… she looks to be in Riverrun.”

“Where the market is?” Jaime asked as he turned around and rushed out of the apartment.

“Yes.”

Jaime made it back down to the street and was relieved to see that his car was still there and he had not yet received any parking violations. He sped off towards Riverrun.

When he was close enough, he pulled into the first available parking spot and then set out by foot, “Give me directions Axel,” Jaime demanded.

“She’s on the bridge.”

Jaime nodded to himself as he pushed through the crowd. Why was Brienne at Riverrun? Why hadn’t she established contact with her handler? Brienne was better than this. She was the best agent he had ever known, far better than even him. One blind spot aside.

When he neared the bridge he could see her. She was standing in front of the ice cream stand. Jaime breathed out a sigh of relief before he scanned the people around her. Was someone threatening her? Were they trying to get her somewhere and forcing her to do civilian things so that she wouldn’t raise suspicion?

“I see her!”

“I still can’t establish a connection with her com,” Axel said, “You’ll need to get closer.”

“She’ll find out!” Jaime growled.

“Then don’t be Leo. Be her husband!” Axel snapped.

Jaime groaned as he realized how stupid he was being. He had gotten so used to keeping his personal and professional lives separate that the possibility hadn’t even crossed his mind.

He got to the end of the bridge and fought through the throng of people.

When he was close enough that he was sure that she could see and hear him, he waved. The com crackled. “Brienne!” he shouted.

Brienne’s head snapped up from where she had been paying for her ice cream cone. None of the people who had been around her when he had first spotted her were around her now. Instead of looking at him though, she looked confused. She hesitantly took the cone from the stand and nodded at the vendor. She walked behind the cart.

“Leo?” her voice asked in his ear as he saw her lips move. “How do you know…?”

And then she spotted him through the crowd.

He shoved through them, “Brienne?” he said again as he reached her. Now that he was close, he could see that she was wearing her fake Bluetooth and touching it as though she could hear from it. She stared at him like he was a ghost.

“Jaime?” her voice came at him not just from her lips but from the com as well. Suddenly her eyes widened as realization washed across her face, “For the love of the Seven…”

“AND THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT. HANDLE THAT IMP!” Axel shouted in victory.

“Well fuck.”

“Who’s the best handler now? I am. I am the best handler. Axel for the win! Evenfall is the best!”

“I’m gonna cut this…” Tyrion muttered. The coms buzzed out.

* * *

**Present –Brienne**

“You’re not… you’re not missing.”

“No…” Brienne replied as she stared at her husband whose voice was no longer coming at her from two ends. He looked disheveled and panicked as though adrenaline was coursing through his veins.

She watched Jaime’s face twist, “You debriefed with Axel? With Podrick.”

“Yes…?”

“What are you doing here? Why aren’t you back at our apartment?” Jaime asked still catching his breath.

Brienne looked down at the ice cream cone in her hand and held it out to him, “Um… Podrick recommended this place when I told him I was craving something sweet while I… while I was…” Brienne grimaced as the revelation continued to load into her brain, “Debriefing with him.”

Jaime mechanically took a bite out of her ice cream. “It’s good.”

“You need to stop doing that. You’re going to wreck your teeth,” Brienne said as she continued to stare at him dead in the eyes. She was searching his soul.

“You need to stop nagging me wife.”

Brienne nodded robotically. “So… so you’re Leo.”

Jaime nodded slowly.

“And you know I’m Blue.”

Jaime nodded again.

“You’ve known this entire time.”

Jaime nodded with a grimace on his face as though he was expecting her to pull out one of her knives and stab him on the spot.

Brienne closed her eyes as she held out the ice cream cone to him in a clear indication that he should take it from her. When he did, both of her hands immediately went up to rub her temples. Suddenly a lot of recent and weird conversations with Leo and with Jaime made sense. Her nostrils flared. “Jaime Lannister. Give me even one reason why I shouldn’t throw you into the river right this very instant.”

Jaime hid his mouth behind the scoop of ice cream as he said muffled and sheepishly, “I’ll give you two. Because you love me and because I love you.”

Brienne’s lips thinned as she glared at him. Her hands dropped down in front of her as she cracked her knuckles.

“Maybe a third,” Jaime laughed nervously as he resisted the urge to take a step back, “Because you don’t want to waste this lovely scoop of ice cream?” Brienne’s eyes narrowed and her fingers flexed. Jaime eyed them vigilantly. “Because you don’t want to hurt your dear old husband!” His body language told Brienne that he preparing himself for the inevitable beat down she was going to give him. And he would deserve it too.

One year. One year he had left her thinking that she was in love with two men. One year in which she had nearly been torn in two because of her feelings for the same exasperating, incorrigible man. One year in which she had thought Leo had fallen in love with somebody else.

And then Brienne’s brain got past the weirdness of the conversations that she had been having with Leo and Jaime and she remembered the content of what he had been saying to her. Of what he had been saying to her for the entire year.

_Because I love you_.

It was what he had been trying to say.

_I love her so much._

The things Leo had told her.

_I adore her._

Leo had loved his wife since she had been eighteen. Since Brienne had been eighteen.

_I don’t mind._

She loved all of him, every part of him that he had presented to her.

_I love you more._

He loved all of her, every part of her that she had presented to him.

_I love my wife._

Leo was Jaime.

_Leo_ was Jaime.

Leo was _Jaime_.

“Jaime,” Brienne gritted between her teeth as her fists clenched at her side.

“Yes wife?” Jaime replied, ready to be taken to the gallows.

“You’re the most infuriating man to ever exist!” she screamed. “I should have known there couldn’t have been two of you.” Then she reached up and cupped his jaw with both of her hands and kissed him. Her teeth nipped aggressively at his lips and her tongue was inside his mouth before he could even suck in a breath. The ice cream splattered to the ground as Jaime buried his hands into her hair and warred with her back. He pressed onto his toes so that he would be able to get leverage to push and guide her against the railing as her hands began to grapple at the back of the shirt he was wearing, pulling it up to reveal his toned lower back.

It was only the sound of an awkward cough coming from the ice cream vendor that stopped them from a bout of public indecency. Jaime and Brienne snapped their heads to look at the vendor, both of their pupils blown with lust, who held out another double scoop cone to them with flushed cheeks, a grimace on his face, and eyes that couldn’t quite meet theirs, “It’s on the house if you two will please move somewhere private.”

They took the ice cream and quickly scrambled somewhere private, if the back seat of Jaime’s car parked in the middle of Riverrun market could be considered private. She rode him for her own pleasure, teasing and testing and drawing him out, not letting him move an inch beneath her. It wasn’t exactly punishment for him, but the yearning on his face as she rode him slow and shallow, while pinning him to the seat, pleased Brienne all the same. She could get used to this. Lannisters always pay their debt after all.

* * *

**Present- Tyrion **

Tyrion frowned testily at the troll face on his screen. As Tyrion had systematically gone through the nonsensical files Axel had sent him after Jaime had taken off, it had become glaringly apparent that Axel’s urgency had all been a ruse. The last image had only been the icing on the cake.

“Axel, you are much more clever than you seem.”

“I resent that.”

“You should join Casterly Rock.”

“Wouldn’t want to downgrade.”

“Ouch.”

“How long have you and Leo been trying to get her to find out?”

“I refuse to testify.”

“Since they met?”

“I have the right to silence.”

“And it took me what… one mission?”

“Victory does not become you Axel.”

“We should grab a drink one day. Celebrate the end of that mess.”

“That we should Axel. That we should.”

“Loser buys.”

“I am the only loser in this aren’t I?”

“That you are Imp, that you are.”

**Author's Note:**

> Brienne gets really into edging Jaime after the end of “the mess” as they call it. He is both perturbed and delighted by this.
> 
> I am considering writing a one-shot detailing the day they met from the coffee shop to the morning after. We'll see, we'll see.
> 
> The irreverent fluff piece that this is, is also for all of those who are going to get the next chapter of [Unique in All the World](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19772815/chapters/46807381) dropped on them in the next 24 hours. Maybe it's not that bad, but this is still here all the same. Check out UiAtW. Shameless promotion. It's my baby.


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